Credentials
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Qualified Beauty Therapist
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Certified Reiki Practitioner (L2)
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Certified Pellowah Practitioner (L2)
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Certified Pellowah Teacher (L3)
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Certified in Hebrew Numerology System
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Certified Shamanic Practitioner
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Studied Pythagorean Numerology
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Studied Basic Western Astrology
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Studied Palmistry & Hand Analysis
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Undergoing Metaphysical Science Degree from University of Sedona (on pause)
For my professional creds, see my: LinkedIn Profile
Career Snapshot: I officially joined the workforce in 2002 and over the next two decades, navigated my way around a wide range of industries at varying levels. I initially began in the hospitality industry as a humble waitress (one of my top favourite sectors!), all the way through to teaching English to children in Japan, being a Beauty Therapist for several years, and even briefly being a "club door girl". Then, in 2010, I very unexpectedly landed a receptionist role within the corporate world. From thereon in, I remained in the corporate sector (plus a dose of odd hospitality jobs, which included working within the Royal Melbourne Zoo), and once again, experienced a myriad of industries such as: real estate, media (newspapers), aged care, and finally, I made it into a reputable charity organisation (which was a personal dream come true). In 2013, I had also started a campaign to gather donations from numerous generous donors (THANK YOU SUPERSTARS!), and travelled to Ghana, West Africa to gift the funds to the local orphanage that I was volunteering at. In more recent years, my professional career has revolved around providing project coordination and business analyst support for organisation-wide Transformation Projects, plus executive-level support (being the "right hand" to various corporate leaders). In addition, I spontaneously started my own aromatherapy candle business (from scratch) back in April 2019 (AromaCrafts) which was quickly placed on the backburner the following year, as I began redirecting all my energy and focus towards my more spiritual career aspirations (aka building Honest Flow).
My extensive range of life and work experiences has blessed me with multiple skillsets and more importantly, provided me with a diverse range of perspectives from all levels of society, which evidently, has led me to effectively relate to people from all walks of life and ages groups. :)
Mystical Fun Facts
Tropical Sun Sign: Gemini (10th House)
Tropical Moon Sign: Taurus (9th House)
Tropical Rising Sign: Leo (1st House)
Tropical North Node: Gemini (11th House)
Vedic Nakshatra: Bharani
Vedic Moon Sign: Aries
Vedic Sun Sign: Taurus
Vedic Rising Sign: Cancer
Life Path #: 9
Birth Day #: 9
Soul Urge #: 7
Destiny / Expression #: 1
Personality #: 3
Palmistry Handshape: Philosophical Hand
Handshape Element: Water Hand
Chinese Zodiac: Water-Pig
MBTI Personality Type: INFP - The Mediator
Enneagram Type: Type 1 - The Reformer / Perfectionist
Human Design Type: Manifesting-Generator
Starseed Resonance: Indigo, Mintakan, Sirian, Lyran
Religion: I was brought up within a Buddhist family, however, I only began learning about Buddhist concepts in 1997 through a local Vietnamese Buddhist youth group that I attended for several years (every Sunday). That said, I do not see myself as being "strictly religious" or bound to any particular faith or belief system. I am open to learning from all religions/cultures, and actually seek guidance from all kinds of high vibrational beings! :)
Shamanic Totem Animal: Death Adder (Snake)
Other Random Facts: I am highly empathic, a highly sensitive person, highly introverted, and have been clinically diagnosed with ADHD - inattentive type (formerly known as ADD). In summary, I am neurodivergent and therefore, do not always operate nor respond like your average (neurotypical) person. Unfortunately, this has led to all kinds of misunderstandings with people, especially those from my past, which to be honest, was not easy and left me feeling ashamed for not being able to operate like "normal" people. While I have learned the fine art of masking my challenges, I no longer wish to hide my struggles nor try to "fit in" with the norms. I just wish to be authentically me!
Tayo's Background Story
This is clearly an AI generated image! :)
Sails by the Desert, Yulara, Jan 2021
This is clearly an AI generated image! :)
Hello and welcome to Honest Flow! My name is TAYO and I am the proud founder of this virtual sacred space. :)
I am a quirky numerologist, spiritual guide, energy healer, shamanic practitioner, yet most importantly, I am a SERVICE SOUL devoted to helping those in need. I am also a baby-faced, "40-something" year old soul. SURPRISE!!! I figured I should plant that seed in your mind now, before you decide to close the browser based on first impressions.
"We hate what we don't understand, yet refuse to understand because we hate."
– Unknown
Sadly, we live in a world where we have the tendency to "judge a book by its cover" without realising that in doing so, we may have just closed the door on an opportunity. Trust me when I say, people have regretted initially misjudging or overlooking me, especially after they discover what I could have offered them. Personally, I have never been one to judge others in such a superficial way, and I find it quite interesting to observe how the majority of humanity proclaims that they are "kind and compassionate" beings, yet they still can't pass the most simple test of all - they still judge those that "appear" different to them. They choose to live with this inflated sense of self, with an ego that carries this false narrative around how that they can actually "know" someone based purely on how they look, their cultural background, certain stereotypes, or a brief interaction.
Well, let me make something very clear, my job is to completely dismantle all of that. As I grow wiser and begin to move into the second half of my earthly existence, I have come to accept that I am here to crush all belief systems and structures that do not serve the greater good. You see, I am an ENIGMA. From the get go, I was wired differently to all the "normal" folk. I am multi-faceted and thus, I am not just one, single, thing. I am NOT monochrome. I am a wild AF rainbow, with sparkles, sequins, angels AND demons! I am both of the LIGHT and the DARKNESS. I show up in the world in a way that nobody ever truly expects. People like to assume that they have figured me out - "sweet, innocent, clueless little girl" - only to find that I am so far from what they initially imagined and they never truly understood me in the first place, and in reality, to their dismay, I can see through their facades. And I suppose that's my divine gift? To be a mystery to people. Just like the universe is.
Truthfully, we are so much more than our physical avatars or the labels that we "attach" to. ;)
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
– Maya Angelou
Now before we continue, I want to make something very clear. This is not your usual "about me" marketing spiel where I try to win you over with a few short paragraphs on my qualifications and the hundreds or thousands of people I have served, and that's not to say I haven't served many people either. I have been supporting all kinds of people behind the scenes, in multiple ways, for a long, long time. Since my teens... NO SIREE! This is where I unpack my background story (well, parts of it), in the hopes that you will understand where my drive and passion for being "in service" comes from. So you can understand my "why" - my reason for being and what has actually led me here. This is where I leverage my "storytelling" gifts, my gifts of communication. I also want you to understand that while I have done much more research and study in recent years, a lot of the soul guidance that I have shared with people over the decades has not come directly from books or courses that I did. Instead, it came from actual life experiences. The reason that I have been able to effectively relate to people from all walks of life and age groups is because of the simple fact that I possess "life experience". I have been through all kinds of things. Challenging things. Things that most would be quite shocked to learn, because I actually don't look nor act like what I've been through. I've experienced both "big T" and "little t" traumas, and it is these very difficult experiences that have led me to become the empowered person that I am today - the person I DESPERATELY NEEDED when I was growing up. I understand pain, struggle, hopelessness, and deep despair. I understand mental chaos, more than most realise. I know what it's like to be constantly misunderstood and underestimated for most of your life and thus, feel rejected and completely alone - even when you're surrounded by a whole lot of people! (And let me just say, I've always been surrounded by people). I have been through hell and back multiple times, and many are unaware of these things because of my naturally sunny and childlike disposition. Plus, I am highly introverted and so, my natural tendency is to keep certain things private. Unlike my extroverted counterparts, it is not in my nature to overshare my personal business or "burden" people with my struggles. The only reason I am sharing everything here, is because I have been "guided" to finally speak up - it is time to stand in my TRUTH! And despite all the hardships that I had to face - which also included being on the receiving end of much unjust hate, envy, and harsh judgements (because my lighthearted ways often drew out people's inner demons), I still managed to overcome the obstacles and start all over again. I kept holding onto my FAITH and the BELIEF that, "One day, things will get better... One day, it has to get better..." And... it has. :)
Now I'll be upfront, this is going to be a long read, and it's going to be raw and perhaps even triggering for some. To those up for the ride, wonderful! And to those of you who are not, you can simply move on to another page - how about my services page?
Oh and one last thing before I get into the nitty gritty details, please know that I have always been the type to go against the grain and walk to the beat of my own drum and so, following current marketing trends just isn't my style. I mean, have you seen my LinkedIn Profile? Unlike most, I refused to write in third person, as it feels highly impersonal. I also LOVE USING EMOJIS as it adds personal flair! Sure, some may see this as "unprofessional" or "childish", however, many will be shocked to learn that I have successfully attracted recruiters (which led to amazing jobs) through this more personal style of writing (staying true to myself). So what's the moral of the story? Don't knock something back until you have actually tried it for yourself! [insert the most colourful unicorn emoji you can find] :)
"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."
– Bruce Lee
Albert Einstein once said, "Only a life lived for others, is a life worthwhile", and this statement truly represents the core essence of who I am. Even though I went through numerous struggles from a very young age (unbeknownst to many), and often had unkind labels thrown at me for my "perceived" weaknesses or "differences", one thing never changed; my strong urge to help others and be kind. No matter how cruel or unjust someone had been to me, I innately felt that I should remain open to understanding them. I consistently chose to see the GOOD in people. I chose to forgive, again and again. I chose to give people MANY chances, more than they truly ever deserved. And yes, I admit, there were times where I allowed my naivety to get the best of me, which left me feeling deeply betrayed and hurt. Yet regardless of all the trials and tribulations, the manipulative mind games that people played, the subtle, backhanded comments, I did not allow myself to retaliate nor seek revenge. And that's not to say I was never hurt or angry either. In fact, I was EXTREMELY ANGRY! I was EXTREMELY HURT! There were times that I even felt BITTER. However, I knew how to contain my inner demons - those dark entities, those sinister voices that wished they could rip certain people apart (with my words that is). Yes, thankfully, I knew how to keep that highly destructive force inside of me and eventually, transformed it into "ambition" and used it to rapidly propel me forward in life. I chose to listen to the angelic (positive) voices in my mind over the much darker ones. Truthfully, the internal battles were endless... Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. That said, I continued to persist and endured it all. I chose to pick myself back up, on my own, time and time again. I chose to look forward into the future and more importantly, to quickly return to a state of childlike joy. I chose the frequency of LOVE over hate because... that's just how I am wired. I AM, THAT I AM. By the way, I rarely had human support, but I always had spiritual support. However, at the time, I didn't realise that's what the "voices" were.
"Become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow."
– Roumaissa
Whilst my spiritual awakening officially began unfolding in 2018 through a random act of self-love (gifting myself an emerald necklace), and was rapidly catapulted by the death of our family dog in 2019, I have always possessed a "spiritual thread" in terms of how I consciously choose to interact with others. In comparison to many of my peers, I was rarely "selective" with who I connected with. I was a free spirit that was open to mingling with all kinds of people because truthfully, humanity "intrigued" me.
Whether society labelled people as good or bad, rich or poor, cool or misfit, smart or dumb, city dweller or country bumpkin, straight or LGBTIQA+, honestly, it made NO DIFFERENCE to me! Regardless of age, I saw everyone as one and the same (equals) and so, I aimed to treat everyone as such. I strived to be generous with my time and energy to anyone who actively sought it (aka people who specifically "asked" for my time and invited me out). Mind you, as an introvert, I was rarely the one initiating catch ups. And even after being fed negative stories about others, I made the conscious effort to give people the benefit of the doubt before making any final judgements myself. As a result, I gained an abundance of love and support from people from all walks of life and age groups. On the other end of the spectrum, I attracted a lot of petty "hate" too. (A story for another time).
For me, no one is truly "better" or "worse". I simply see souls longing for love, support, and genuine acceptance. Souls wishing to be seen, to be heard, to be understood. Something that I had desperately yearned for myself, especially in my younger, formative years.
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”
– Mother Teresa
When I reflect on how my life story has unfolded, it's pretty bizarre. I never once imagined that I would end up working in the spiritual field, and I am 99% certain that numerous people from my past would be in total DISBELIEF right now! The general consensus was that I'd never amount to anything of great significance. In fact, some viewed me as an "underdog" - a complete loser! INCLUDING ME! (I am my own worst enemy and critic.)
You see, I had lived such an unconventional life, far from the textbook depiction of a "spiritual" life. I was no disciplined yogi or monk, nor was I some religious soul that followed all the rules and lived "by the book". And I am certainly not vegan or vegetarian (yet). In fact, for a large portion of my life, I was the total opposite of these things. While I may have "looked innocent", I was actually quite rebellious, especially in my teenage years. I was viewed as "scattered" and "all over the place" by many of my peers, and I was without a doubt, my parents' worst nightmare.
In comparison to my two younger siblings, my behaviour was pretty atrocious. I was extremely moody and disrespectful towards my parents and regularly "disappointed" them. I carried multiple demons that often showed up as me screaming foul language at the top of my lungs, and slamming doors in their faces. I snuck out ("escaped") often to party and hang with the "bad kids". For decades my parents would attempt to place restrictions on me by verbally threatening to disown me if I didn't obey the rules, BUT... I just wouldn't listen! I just wouldn't behave. And so, they heavily criticised me and saw me as the black sheep of the family. Yes, I was the one that brought "shame" to the family. I was the one setting a "bad example".
That said, I don't blame my parents... I can't imagine that it was easy for them to raise someone as stubborn, rebellious, and highly reactive as me. I was an EMOTIONAL MESS. Plus, I was carrying hidden baggage... I was a ticking time bomb. Furthermore, I was never "normal" to begin with. From a young age, I was noticeably different to my peers, and in more recent years, I discovered that I was on the ADHD spectrum (clinically diagnosed with ADHD-I - formerly known as ADD), which explained A WHOLE LOT about my irregular mood swings and my inability to understand or do what seemed like very "normal" things to everyone else (i.e. being "on time" to things and unable to "listen" or concentrate at times). In addition, I am highly introverted which adds a whole other layer of complexity. And yes, this does make me "neurodivergent". Sadly, this is a concept that is hard to explain to traditional Asian parents, and anyone else who doesn't struggle "internally" for that matter. So yes, I was definitely not the "ideal" daughter that my parents had hoped for, which of course, left a big chip on my shoulders...
On reflection, I have many regrets about my clearly toxic behaviour towards my parents, who in reality, did their best to raise me at their level of consciousness and understanding at the time. In hindsight, I understand that my parents had their own difficulties and traumas to deal with too, and I had been a firsthand witness to many of them. I saw their pain. I saw their anger. I saw the dark moments of despair. I still vividly remember this one image of my dad at one of his lowest points... it was quite depressing (and disappointing) to witness, especially at such a young age. Anyway, nothing truly came "easy" to our family. However, to the rest of the world, everyone around us, it was perceived as otherwise. All they saw was "money and wealth" which in their minds, instantly equated to "happiness". Our family was seen as "blessed" and "lucky", and it is these foolish comments that truly make my blood boil because that's NOT the whole truth. That was NOT the reality! We struggled in other ways, we just didn't express it to the world because there was an image to uphold - which always seems to be the case within the Asian community, and is actually something I frequently butted heads with my parents about... "Why does it even f**ken matter what other people think??! Who f**ken cares??!!"
So, allow me to be completely transparent and hit you with the truth about our family dynamics. Firstly, I want people to understand that I did not come from some perfect family household where it was all "sunshine and rainbows". Yes, there were plenty of wonderful days and great memories (I can't deny that) but, there were also bad days in between. My parents were both refugees who had escaped a war-stricken country (Vietnam), which evidently meant that they had their own traumas. Sure, our family was more financially stable and secure than most around us, but we were still considered to be a "working class family". And we definitely didn't start "well-off". Like most Vietnamese refugees that arrived in Australia in the 70s, my parents had to start from scratch. My mum began working as a seamstress and then ended up working in various factories as a process worker for decades, whereas my father worked multiple odd jobs, also in factories, until he finally became a full-time truck driver (and still is!). We are not "multi-millionaires" by any means. But more importantly, our family dynamics, particularly in the past, were highly dysfunctional and toxic. There was a lot of volatile and intense arguments happening between my parents - the kind that once in a blue moon, left a new hole in the wall. Yep.
You see, my father worked really hard to provide for the family, and he was also under a lot of pressure due to being the eldest son in the family line. Many people relied on him, from uncles, aunts, grandparents etc, and also those within his community and social networks (he was well known by many). He was the "go to" person for everyone. He was also a "yes" person, a "people pleaser". (Side Note: both my father and I carry the same life path/purpose, and interestingly enough, we have experienced very similar life lessons). Sadly, the constant self-sacrificing and inability to set boundaries, led my father to gradually "escape" (numb the stress) via substance abuse. In time, he became a heavy, hot-tempered alcoholic... There was another illegal substance (H) that he abused in his earlier years too, but he gave that vice up before I hit my teens. When my father was in one of his "moods", he'd come home and cause a huge racket. He'd stomp around the house aggressively, spit foul language, and basically had a temper tantrum. Then, he'd start having a go at my mother. Sometimes for a reason (my mother was really good at pushing his buttons), and sometimes for no good reason at all. He was just "angry". Luckily (for my mother), she was quite the feisty soul, so she was able to stand her ground and ferociously argued back with him. That said, it was a highly destructive environment. There was a lot of screaming and sometimes smashing of objects in the house. I still remember the day that it go so bad, that the police came knocking at our door. Anyway, it was definitely no place for three, very young and highly sensitive children. It didn't feel safe, nor did it feel healthy. And it definitely was not an environment that I would ever personally associate with the words "blessed" or "lucky". And whenever those explosive episodes occurred, my natural instinct would be to quickly usher my younger siblings into the bedroom, and then tell them to hide under blankets and go to sleep. Next, I'd place a pillow over my head and then cover my ears in an attempt to block out the raging noise. In those moments, I was scared, yet I also felt protective of my younger siblings. Somehow, I felt responsible for their wellbeing and safety. In those moments, I felt like I HAD to be the parent. The responsible adult. I had to "grow up". Yet the reality was, I was still a child at heart. Honestly, I hated those nights the most and I often wondered when the day would come where my father "lost control". I prayed that it wouldn't get to that, but there was also a part of me that would ask, "But what happens if it does? What happens then?" Luckily for all of us, it never got to that.
Important Note: please know that there was never any physical abuse in our family. In addition, my parents are actually generous, kindhearted people, who do love us dearly. However, the sad reality was that they were incapable of providing us with the emotional support and nurturing qualities that we needed as young children. They were both under a lot of stress, and clearly battling their own demons. The reality is, they sacrificed a lot to get to Australia. It was a tough journey for the both of them (who came individually, at different times). Truthfully, I am grateful for my parents. Despite the emotional turmoil and chaos in the family home, and the constant criticism and judgements that I received from them, I actually love my parents deeply. Plus, I always knew deep down, they didn't mean to be that way... I always knew that my dad didn't mean to be so angry and hot tempered. It was obvious that he was hurting. It was obvious that he was extremely exhausted. He had clearly spread himself too thin, and he needed to rest, to pause. He needed to put himself first. On a positive, I am pleased to report that my parents are much more relaxed in their older age, and my father has significantly reduced his alcohol consumption too. (Thankfully!) My parents eventually made it out to the other side together. They found the light at the end of the tunnel - proving that circumstances can change at any age. It just takes a whole lot of love and commitment!
Secondly, I want people to know that I was no "angel" and had never once claimed to be. (Many have projected that I somehow think this way about myself? But in reality, that's their own perception. Not once have I thought nor said that about myself.) I carry many demons and I am flawed in so many ways. I have also made plenty of foolish mistakes throughout my life, especially in my younger years because well, I AM HUMAN! We all are. With that said, that doesn't mean we can't change. That doesn't mean we can't evolve and learn from our past mistakes, and I am living proof of that! I am what some would refer to as the "late bloomer". I started to find my way AFTER my mid-30s!
So back to the main story. As mentioned, the life that I am embarking on now is so far beyond what I had ever envisioned for myself because...
Ever since my mid teens (and even into my 30s), I had been known as the "party girl" that frequently hung around what most would consider the "bad crowd", and to some (particularly the self-righteous folk), it appeared as though I was moving through life aimlessly, with no real direction or ambition. And for a while, that was my reality. That was my truth! I had no serious goals or plans for myself, and I really didn't know WHO or WHAT I wanted to be. To be frank, I had extremely low self esteem and lacked confidence. In comparison to my peers (many of them were "alpha females"), I felt that I was at a disadvantage due to my "timid" and "gentle" nature. I knew society saw this as "weak" and so, I accepted this as my "fate" and did what I thought was best to survive. I decided to follow along with the crowd, to try to "blend in" with different groups, just so that I would be socially accepted. I'd try to squeeze myself into all the moulds and labels that other people had assigned to me (aka "people please"), in an attempt to not be outcasted or ostracised. But I'll tell you the strange thing about that - no matter how hard I tried to "fit in" with the crowd, I always felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. And if for any reason, I accidentally took the spotlight away from others, I'd find myself under attack (the backhanded comments would start reeling in). I also felt that no matter what I did to try to please the crowd, it was never good enough. There was always something else that I had to improve on. Honestly, it was extremely exhausting putting on all these different masks and costumes, to try to "keep the peace" or for my own self-preservation. It was exhausting not being able to show up as my true, quirky self. When I hung with the "good" kids, they perceived me as a "bad" person for the lifestyle I lived (partying a lot). When I hung with the "bad" folk, they labelled me as a "goodie two shoes" for not partaking in certain activities with them (i.e. abusing substances). Sigh. I could never win. I never felt like I was truly accepted anywhere.
UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH: I had never tried any kinds of illegal substances until AFTER the age of 30 and even so, it had been minimal in comparison to many of my peers (2 x plant based, and 1 x synthetic). I'd also like to mention that this habit is OBSOLETE, and has been for quite a while now. To be honest, I never needed substances (except alcohol). I possess my own natural high. I first turned to them out of pure curiosity (as oppose to "escapism") - out of wanting to "understand" and "experience" what all the hype was about, and I am glad that I did. Because now I have a good reference point, and can actually speak from a place of experience - for how can we ever judge anything without first experiencing it for ourselves? (I am all about being honest and transparent here!)
When it came to high school, my grades were pretty mediocre (averaging Cs and Ds), and during my final year of high school, I began skipping classes regularly because I had "given up" on my education. I did not see myself as an "academic" (I could barely concentrate in class), and I certainly did not want to keep going to school or university. HELL NO! It just wasn't for me! All I wanted was to get straight into the workforce. To start making money! I didn't really care about the job title or position, I just wanted to start earning whatever money I could, as I knew that this would gradually lead me to "freedom from my parents". It would mean that my parents could not continue to dictate how I should spend my money and more importantly, how I should live my life. (Would you believe that "oppression" is one of the key areas that my soul is learning to transcend and break free from in this life?)
Shortly after leaving high school, through an online connection, I managed to get my first job as a waitress at a little Peking duck restaurant, and over the next decade, I bounced around from job to job, industry to industry - which was clearly frowned upon by my parents and all those around me because I was seen as "unstable". Then, in 2010, I unexpectedly landed myself a temporary receptionist role (interestingly enough, through a beauty therapy client), that surprisingly became permanent. To my own disbelief, I remained in the corporate world for the next decade. Truth be told, I NEVER imagined myself having an office job. The whole "9 to 5" image of sitting at a desk and typing away at a computer was never my cup of tea! (So I thought.) However, it just randomly panned out that way. And after a decade in the arena, I finally came to accept that it was "not so bad", and actually, I was decent at it. Plus, I can't deny that the money is much better, and it is the main reason that I was able to invest in myself and start funding all my spiritual endeavours and projects and thus, arrive at this point in my life today!
People who initially meet me tend to assume that I'm some academic that came from a good family and had the privilege of going to university. But this is NOT the case! I didn't get that far with my schooling. I literally "just passed" high school. In fact, I should have failed due to attending less than 50% of my classes. I am just lucky (and extremely grateful) that my Year 12, Maths Methods' Teacher had cared enough to request the School Counsellor to pull me aside to have a "private chat" around my sudden changes in behaviour and gave me an exemption (to be honest, I would have gladly failed). And strangely enough, it was during this private, 1:1 session with the School Counsellor that I had a very unexpected, emotional break down. Yep. Perhaps it was because this was the first time any responsible adult had ever approached me and sincerely asked, "Is everything okay? Are you alright? Has something happened? We are concerned about you..." That's when my heart cracked wide open. That's when the tears came flooding through. You see, throughout high school, I had tried really hard put on a "brave face", especially after learning in my childhood years that it was not okay to cry in public. It was not okay to be a "sook". And so, I slowly programmed myself to hide all my struggles, and to only ever cry at home, in the darkest corner of my cupboard. Out in the "real world", I forced myself to become the jester that laughed things off and willingly made fun of myself in front of others (or allowed others to make fun of me). I basically played the role of "ditsy dumb girl". But in that one moment, I felt seen for the first time. I felt exposed. And... it made me very vulnerable... and just like that, everything came crashing down. Needless to say, I purged a lot in that session. I didn't even have any words to explain what was going on with my actual class absences. I just cried, and cried, and cried, while the counsellor kindly passed over tissues and tried her best to hold space for me. It was a moment of much needed emotional release. I had held in a lot up until that point. (Thank you Mrs Soloman and Ms Dreyfus! Thank you for being the first few adults who noticed my struggles, and in return, showed empathy and compassion).
Rewind back even further, as a young child, I had never viewed myself as being talented or skilled at anything, especially after repeating Grade 2. While some may never understand the level of impact that this has had on me mentally and emotionally, let me be completely honest, that one incident, combined with various others such as: always being selected last in team sport's activities due to my "petite stature", and then being teased daily for being a "squeaky little mouse" or "cry baby" - well, these very experiences caused me to believe that I was dumb, useless, and broken. Over time, I convinced myself that I was a "failure" and that I did not belong in the world because I was "not normal" like everyone else. I was also convinced that everyone at school hated me, and that my parents had completely abandoned me. Truthfully, after my two younger siblings arrived in the picture, I began developing the false narrative that "my parents no longer loved me" and had both forgotten about me. And so, as time went on, I felt like a total mistake. I felt that I didn't deserve to be alive. I carried an unhealthy habit of constantly comparing myself to my siblings, to my peers, to all my friends, and I just never felt like I was good enough for anyone. "You have no purpose. You have no talents. You're not good at anything!" Yep. And while I'd love to share the more intimate details of the extremely dark and lonely nights from my depressing childhood years where the negative self talk (suicidal thoughts) got quite sinister (demonic), and almost led me to end my life (I had made a lame attempt as a child), something tells me that I should leave that part of my story for later on.
In a nutshell, I did not enjoy my younger, primary school years due to the frequent teasing (verbally bullying) and constant feelings of inadequacy and alienation. Whereas high school, surprisingly, was a total different story! It was a complete 180 degree flip! This was where I gradually came out of my shell, became more of a rebel (started acting out and finally decided not to conform to the "good girl" identity that my parents expected), and somehow, miraculously created my own kind of popularity. I began attracting all kinds of people into my world (without having to really "try"). That said, I'd also like to take a moment to attribute these more positive shifts in my life to the emergence of online chat rooms such as mIRC and ICQ in the mid-90s. This was when I actually discovered my favourite mode of self expression - the written word! It was also where I was able to make new friends and began hanging with those who enjoyed the night life just as much as I did. (I had always been a night owl!) The rising age of technology in the 90s was my saving grace! On top of that, I believe adopting new hair styles and getting my braces taken off in year 11, was a big confidence boost that placed me on a whole new timeline! (Rising Leo activations! #IYKYK)
“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”
― Nelson Mandela
Fast forward to 2011, during my late 20s and also my Saturn Return phase (one of the most disempowering periods of my life as I was dating a controlling narcissist and also working under a tyrant boss), I was divinely guided to my very first "fortune telling" experience and was completely MIND BLOWN! I was astonished by the accuracy of what the psychic had said and highly intrigued at how she could even pick up such personal information through scanning a bunch of tea leaves and playing around with a scary-looking deck of cards. From that point onwards, I started engaging the services of psychics and mediums annually for general life guidance as I found these sessions to be quite therapeutic (the future predictions were highly accurate, and still are). During these sessions, NOT ONCE did it ever cross my mind that I would (or could) be sitting in their shoes, not until 8 years later.. Not until March of 2019...
Shortly after putting down our family dog (Hamish), I found myself feeling lost and depressed. I started to question the whole purpose of "life and death" and began wondering whether Hamish had even reached the "other side"? I could not feel his presence, and I felt both guilt and heart ache. Suddenly, a quiet voice within guided me to book a psychic reading at the local crystal shop, and this was when my soul's destiny was very unexpectedly revealed to me. I was advised by the medium that my career path was "highly spiritual" and it was time for me to place more focus and discipline in this area. While a part of me felt some truth in her words (mainly around being in service to others, as this is something I had innately felt), another part of me completely denied the message. I was convinced that I was "not good enough" and that it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to be "spiritually gifted" in any way! Me? A psychic? A medium? A spiritual teacher? No f*cken way!
Over the next year, my childlike curiosity drove me to meet with various psychics and mediums to dig further into this newfound truth (seek further validation), and each time, they relayed very similar messages: "Spirituality and serving people is your higher purpose! You are more than ready! You are a healer! You are a teacher! You are a channel! You are a messenger! You need to share your story! YOU NEED TO USE YOUR VOICE!" During one group workshop, the host (who was a channel) had even identified that I had done spiritual work in many lifetimes before, and this was nothing "new" to me.
"Truth is always the most important thing, even when it leads us to dark places."
- Deborah Ellis
Even after receiving so much "expert encouragement", I found myself struggling to accept my spiritual purpose. I suffered from "imposter syndrome" (okay, I'll be honest, it was SELF WORTH issues) and so, I kept procrastinating. I kept denying. I kept overlooking. I kept delaying... Until... 2020, when Covid-19 hit. Thanks to the pandemic (Melbourne’s 6 x lockdowns to be exact), things began to change. I finally had time to "slow down" and dig deep. REAL DEEP.
With no more social obligations or toxic connections to distract me, I was able to properly reflect on all of my life's experiences, including a specific, childhood trauma that I had buried deeply and almost forgotten about. I started to recall various mystical and telepathic experiences from my younger years that at the time of its occurrence, I had brushed off as being "just a coincidence". I even began recalling a recurring childhood dream (more like nightmare because I was witnessing my own death), which I have now come to understand was an ancient past-life memory. There were numerous other dreams that caused me panic as a young child too. Ones where random souls that I could not recognise kept following me around in the dream, and it really creeped me out. I remember yelling at the creepy, floating people, "Please go away!! Please leave me alone!!!" I have now come to acknowledge that they were likely disincarnate spirits trying to to connect with me from the other side. Yep. Look, I was an open vessel as a child. I know this all sounds quite absurd and almost unbelievable. However, these are my personal truths and no one can ever deny me of them. I know what I know, and that's all that needs to be said. :)
Personally, the pandemic was a real blessing in disguise because it was during this time of "guilt-free solitude" that a significant amount of revelations, deep emotional healing, and spiritual growth occurred, including the strengthening of my relationship with spirit and a higher power. In addition, I managed to reconnect with my soul’s greatest passions and desires – studying all things spiritual, metaphysical and philosophical! (It's a Soul Urge 7 thing!)
After thoroughly analysing NUMEROUS personal charts, everything started to "click" and made so much more sense. I finally understood why throughout my entire life, whilst going through my own personal struggles, I regularly had people gravitating towards me, and without me asking, they would start confiding in me. They would entrust me with their most personal and darkest secrets. They would tell me about their burdens and asked for my thoughts on the matter. What I found even more intriguing was the fact that I ALWAYS KNEW how to respond in return. I always knew how to comfort people. How to effectively help or at least, guide them to someone that could. Whether it was to do with relationships, friendships, career advice, or even mental health patterns, I often knew the answer, because... I had once been in their position. Like moths to a flame, people would reach out and ask to spend time with me because...
I AM A HUMANITARIAN BY SOUL DESIGN and I AM A NATURAL BORN HEALER. My energy field is highly soothing/uplifting for people, yet on the other end of the spectrum, it can be extremely triggering (usually for those operating at much lower vibrations aka heavily in their egos). I AM A CATALYST FOR CHANGE, and I can manifest smooth or rude awakenings for those that come into my life.
"Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness."
- James Thurber
Finally, I understand the higher purpose of all my challenging life experiences. Experiences such as:
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having to deal with daily alienation for my perceived weaknesses/differences as a young child (being neurodivergent and hyper-sensitive) which led to deep depression and feelings of unworthiness and rejection/abandonment;
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growing up in an unstable (volatile) family household;
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experiencing multiple heart breaks over the course of 10 years for various reasons including: being cheated on by my first love, being dumped because of my own insecurities and paranoia, unintentionally becoming the "third party" in my next situationship (I hold no secrets), and dating a controlling narcissist that brought out the very worst (intense demons) in me;
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constant encounters with domineering, competitive, envious, possessive, or toxic personalities (alpha females) who often tried to destroy my self esteem and confidence levels;
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cyber bullying in my teens from anonymous females;
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workplace harassment (working under an ice addict) which led me to develop high anxiety and PTSD;
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frequently being misjudged and undermined due to my youthful appearance or childlike nature, projected onto, gossiped about, type-casted as "weak", and labelled "fake nice" by those who don't even know me personally;
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being painted out as a "villain" for delivering honest truths, calling people out on toxicity, or setting clear boundaries;
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being instantly disliked for no valid reason (other than envy or jealousy);
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consistently attracting broken souls who would often project their own wounds and insecurities onto me; and...
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one sinister event from my early childhood (not yet revealed), that unfortunately, led me to manifest a rare auto-immune condition...
The reality is, I have not had an "easy life" as most have foolishly assumed and this is why we should never judge a book by it's cover. I have suffered plenty in this life. Yet through all the pain and all the darkness, I always returned to my HEART. I chose to be HOPEFUL. I chose to SMILE, to LAUGH. AND... I chose to continue to help those that called upon me, even the ones that didn't always necessarily deserve it (until I could no longer continue). I chose to be a ray of sunshine for others because that is WHO I AM.
And while much pain was inflicted upon me, I have no doubt that I potentially inflicted pain on others too, especially in my distant past. For any pain that I may have caused to another person, I am deeply remorseful and sincerely apologetic. I am truly sorry to those that were on the receiving end of any of my wounded or unconscious behaviours. Trust me when I say, I have never intended to hurt anyone. I am NOT malicious by nature. I hate hurting people. It's the last thing I ever want to do. And while I do not expect forgiveness, I do hope that people know that I am aware of my wrongdoings. I know that I am not perfect. I know I have sinned too. The reality is, nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. With that said, I have learned, I have grown, and I have evolved from my past. I have also learned to give myself grace and to forgive myself.
"Forgive them Father; for they know not what they do."
- Jesus
Truthfully, I am not ashamed of my past, nor do I wish to make any changes to the life I have lived up until now because I understand that "without challenge, you cannot grow". It is my past experiences that have led me here today, and this is why I decided to be very open about my personal story here. This is why I purposely included various photos from all the different aspects of my life (scroll through the images at the top of the page to see). I wanted people to meet the most authentic version of me, the REAL ME. Not some watered down "spiritual version" of me. I did not wish to hide my past as if it never existed, because it did. Again, it is my past that has shaped me into the person I am today, and not only that, it is my past that has blessed me with infinite wisdom that I can now leverage to serve others efficiently.
"Now you see me standing in the lights, but you never saw my sacrifice, or all the nights I had to struggle to survive. Had to lose it all to win the fight, I had to fall so many times. Now, I'm the last one standing."
- Skylar Grey
Yes, I had to overcome a ridiculous amount of challenges to get to where I am today, that said, my life was not all bad either. It has been perfectly balanced out with an abundance of blissful experiences too (more so in the last decade). I have travelled plenty and kicked many personal goals which my younger self would have never dreamed possible! And in 2013, I finally crossed paths with my soul mate, who I actually owe a lot of my personal growth and ambition to. Not because he did anything in particular. Let's get real here, I had to do all the inner shadow work and healing on my own. However, it was simply in the way he lived and navigated his own life, which INSPIRED me to do better for myself. More importantly, it was in how he knew how to hold space for me and thus, allowed me to blossom and evolve at my own pace, leading me to become unapologetically ME!
I now understand that everything that has occurred in my life, no matter how tough, has been for a reason. For a purpose. It has all been about setting myself up to be able to serve humanity well, because the best teachers in this world possess "lived experience" (not just book knowledge). I had to travel down various winding roads where many obstacles were thrown at me (and silly mistakes were made), before I could align to my highest path. Finally (and thankfully), I have arrived at the most soul nourishing chapter of my life! It may have taken 40 years, but finally, I AM IN SOUL ALIGNMENT!
Serving people is what I AM most passionate about and this is why Honest Flow has sprung to life. It is time for me to LIGHT UP and SPEAK UP! It is time for me to reveal my true colours and to share my personal story to give people HOPE, and to INSPIRE everlasting change! I never want anyone to go through the pain or struggles that I have, especially on their own, and where I can eliminate, or at least reduce the suffering, I WILL.
My soul mission is to create a more loving, understanding, and accepting world, especially for our CHILDREN and YOUNGER GENERATIONS because they are the FUTURE LEADERS of this planet. My mission is to speak up for all those who cannot, to be the VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS because I know I have the courage, the gifts, and willpower to do so. I will advocate not only for the underdogs and misfits of society, but for anyone who has ever felt mistreated or misjudged. I do not care for the separation games or which "side" you are playing on. In my world, there are no sides or social classes. I only care about ONE thing, and that is LOVE FOR ALL OF HUMANITY.
I AM TAYO and I AM THE WOUNDED HEALER, and I am on a mission to become a HEART-LED LEADER. I embrace both my light and my darkness, and my life purpose is to serve others - to bring everyone back home, into their hearts. My mission is to LEAD BY EXAMPLE, and to sprinkle laughter and childlike joy wherever I go! :)
If I am graced with the opportunity to support you, please know that I will always have your best interests at heart. Thank you from the depths of my soul for holding space in this very moment. Thank you for investing your precious time and energy to hear my story. To see me, to know me, and hopefully by now, understand me.
I look forward to re-igniting your inner flame and realigning you to your path, to your heart. I truly believe that everyone has something special to share to the world and it's about time we figured that out. In the words of "Riri" - it's time to SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND!
With love and the highest of intentions,
Tayo